Alex Salmond Bagsies the pound

alex salmond poundScotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond has written to David Cameron to formally bagsy the pound in the event of Scotland choosing independence from the United Kingdom.

Issuing a brief statement Mr Cameron said “Earlier this week, we explained that a vote for independence would mean walking away from the pound. We hadn’t fully anticipated that it might mean us walking away from the pound, but obviously we can’t be seen by the international community to  disrespect a bagsy.”

A bagsy is a water tight legal contract used to claim something for yourself, or the other way round. There is no higher authority than a bagsy, once someone has bagsied something it can’t be taken away and their can be no grounds for appeal.

At the moment Scottish people are allowed to have their own money but can only draw on it with permission from an English person, a bit like a trust fund.

A spokesman for the treasury explained “The most popular options at the moment are the superior pound and the English Rupee, and Governor of the Bank Of England Mark Carney firmly believes we would benefit from round money instead of rectangular notes.  It’s more difficult for us as we don’t know whether the economy will be run by Osborne, Balls, Alexander or whichever UKIP bloke can get hold of a calculator that’s made in Britain. Scotland has the stability of knowing that their leader will always be Alex Salmond.”

A spokesman for the Welsh Assembly was unavailable for comment this morning. “They were up all night drinking and singing” a source told us.


  1. What’s the problem it will make the pound stronger


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