Trump issues ultimatum to elephants

Donald Trump has issued an ultimatum to all elephants to cease and desist having big ears and a long trunk as tensions grow between the president and various factions of the animal kingdom

Falklands naval exit nothing to do with starting war and winning election this time

David Cameron has today assured critics that the recent naval exit from the Falklands has absolutely nothing to do with starting another war, winning it, winning the next General election as a result and subsequently ensuring British ownership of a plethora of natural resources before any Argentinians get their hands on it. Speaking on the […]

Blair “I’m having a wank in a big pile of bombs”

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair is reportedly having a wank in a big pile of bombs and fast approaching his vinegar strokes. Speaking from outside one of Mr Blair’s homes, where he is reportedly locked in the khasi along with a stash of missiles, a portable TV and a multi-pack of Andrex, a close confidante […]