Corbyn trailing in polls against dalek invasion

Hard working families in Britain would shun labour and instead vote for an invasion by a psychopathic race of fictional alien/machine hybrids, should such an option become available and a general election tomorrow according to polls released today.

“Why can’t Sturgeon be our leader?” say Labour members

Labour members have reacted furiously today at news that they can’t have the nice Scottish lady who’ll tell Theresa May to stick her article 50 up her arse as their leader.

Corbyn “Shit, I meant vote against article 50”

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has this evening asked if parliament can possibly have another vote having realised that he just whipped his MPs to duck out of the world’s biggest free marketplace and leave Theresa May free to completely shaft workers rights.

Public fury as woman wins case not to find Mrs Brown’s boys funny

Campaigner Gina Miller has won a landmark case not to find Mrs Brown’s Boys funny depsite the fact that it was voted Britain’s best comedy by the British public

“Tell them it was a bike accident” Corbyn tells Branson

Sir Richard Branson is this morning still denying that he was duffed up by Jeremy Corbyn after a row about trains earlier in the week.

Corbyn urged to stop sitting on roof of trains

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has told critics he will carry on sitting on the roof of trains and ducking at tunnels indefinitely, even if he becomes Prime Minister and whether there are seats available or not.

Surrey residents prepare to vote in labour leadership elections

Much of the population of Surrey are preparing to vote in the labour leadership elections following revelations that there is a £25 charge to keep the riff raff out.

Blair “I’m having a wank in a big pile of bombs”

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair is reportedly having a wank in a big pile of bombs and fast approaching his vinegar strokes. Speaking from outside one of Mr Blair’s homes, where he is reportedly locked in the khasi along with a stash of missiles, a portable TV and a multi-pack of Andrex, a close confidante […]

Cameron “We’ve already promised the business to our arms dealer friends”

Prime Minister David Cameron has made an impassioned plea to all MPs to think of year on year growth in the arms sector before voting for any options other than the indiscriminate bombing of Syria. Any move not involving blanket bombing the few remaining bits of Syria that have not already  been bombed,  he argued, […]

Did Jeremy Corbyn fart during Festival of Remembrance?

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has found himself at the centre of controversy today following rumours that he may or may not have passed wind at some point on Remembrance Sunday. A suitably enraged Richard Littlejohn in the Daily Mail wrote “Was this the reason that Pixie Lott and Rod Stewart started laughing during the service? […]