David Moyes “Women should stop getting their knickers in a twist”

Women should stop getting their knickers in a twist and make everyone a cup of tea according to Sunderland boss David Moyes.

UKIP find way back to the 1970s

UKIP scientists have found a way back to the 1970s and may be leaving en masse in a big racist space ship come time machine, taking all their supporters with them according to leader Nigel Farage. Speaking to John Humphrys on Radio 4’s Today Programme Mr Farage explained “All we ever wanted is to go […]

Jim Davidson “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”

Jim Davidson has issued the British electorate with a stark ultimatum “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”. “I normally threaten to sling my hook if the Conservatives don’t get in. But someone’s got to take a stand. I’ve even bought a house on 1970’s Island but if UKIP get in I’m not […]