UKIP scientists have found a way back to the 1970s and may be leaving en masse in a big racist space ship come time machine, taking all their supporters with them according to leader Nigel Farage.
Speaking to John Humphrys on Radio 4’s Today Programme Mr Farage explained “All we ever wanted is to go back to the 1970s where there is no EU, no political correctness and no Facebook or Twitter to take the piss out of us.”
The mass exodus to the past has not been officially announced but is likely to take place imminently.
One excited UKIP supporter told us “I can’t wait. The first thing I’m going to do when I get there is find a Wavy Line supermarket and marvel at it’s lack of diversity before buying some processed luncheon meat shaped like a bears face. Assuming of course it’s not early closing Wednesday or something.
“On the way home I’ll have a chat with the neighbours about the one vaguely foreign looking family in the street or in the next street if there isn’t one in ours, and remark on the fact that they’re not like us, without fear of being challenged. Then, if I can get a decent picture on the TV, I’ll settle down to an episode of Mind your language or the Black and White minstrel show.”
Dr Brian Cox has hailed the revelations as some of the most exciting news in scientific history. “It was a little disappointing that they’re leaving without imparting the secrets of time travel to the wider scientific community. But the fact that they’re fucking off is probably more important.” He told us.
In other news Britain First have reportedly found a way back to the 1950s where they are already protesting against shops having bananas.