Jim Davidson “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”

Jim Davidson has issued the British electorate with a stark ultimatum “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”.

“I normally threaten to sling my hook if the Conservatives don’t get in. But someone’s got to take a stand. I’ve even bought a house on 1970’s Island but if UKIP get in I’m not going. They can whistle for it.”

Nigel Farage has admitted the news could be a set back this close to local and European elections. “I don’t know why Davidson has singled us out to not emigrate if we do well in the upcoming elections. The whole thing’s obviously a set up.” he told us

The 1970’s comedian, who recently proved he wasn’t racist by winning Celebrity Big Brother, at one point entertained the public at music halls throughout the country by regaling his audience with tales of a hapless man called Chalky, who due to the colour of his skin became invisible intermittently whilst traversing zebra crossings, at least according to Mr Davidson. Subsequent attempts to track down the gentleman in question sadly proved fruitless and to date no-one has come forward as a witness to Mr Davidson’s account of such an unusual occurrence.

However, such threats to stay here have been dismissed by critics as ‘hot air’. One passer by told us “He said in the 1990’s that he would leave the country if Labour got in. So on the first day of a new Labour Government we all went for a family jolly to the airport to wave him off. But did he leave? Did he buggery. It stands to reason that he’ll be true to form and not stay here.”