Jim Davidson “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”

Jim Davidson has issued the British electorate with a stark ultimatum “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”. “I normally threaten to sling my hook if the Conservatives don’t get in. But someone’s got to take a stand. I’ve even bought a house on 1970’s Island but if UKIP get in I’m not […]

Swear more Clegg urges Lib Dems

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has today urged party activists to start swearing like troopers as he launched the party’s campaign for the English local elections. “We’re not simply a protest vote. We’re the only party you can rely on to break up our otherwise dull manifesto with a liberal sprinkling of profanity along the […]

Political parties compete to drive next bus into Portsmouth station

The political landscape is thought to have changed significantly and irreversibly today after UKIP leader Nigel Farage took a break from jingoistic knee-jerk ranting and instead arranged to have a bus driven into Portsmouth and Southsea railway station. Speaking from the wreckage to his own press officers and a handful of Portsmouth locals Mr Farage […]

Nigel Farage tripped over and fell into tax haven

United Kingdom Independence Party leader Nigel Fararage assured supporters and well wishers today that he is very much alive and in good health, if a little shaken, after a terrible  accident where he reportedly tripped over and fell into a tax avoidance scheme. Speaking from his bed at a private hospital the jingoistic politician and […]