“Why can’t Sturgeon be our leader?” say Labour members

Labour members have reacted furiously today at news that they can’t have the nice Scottish lady, who’ll tell Theresa May to stick her article 50 up her arse, as their leader.

One  Labour member told us “It’s not fair. I simply don’t see why we have to have a man with a beard, who goes along with everything as dictated by the Daily Mail, whilst appeasing Labour voters by shaking his head disapprovingly and saying harrumph from time to time, when there’s a perfectly good leader, albeit of a completely different party, up the road who’ll tell May where she can shove it.”

“And she wins elections and everything.” Another added.

Whilst Ms Sturgeon has been keeping her cards close to her chest on the matter, it’s widely thought that Corbyn will only be persuaded leave if offered leadership of the SNP in return.

“I’m 7 out of 10 in favour of Scottish independence. But I will have to see what the Daily Mail thinks first so that I can be absolutely sure what the people think. And then whatever they come out with we’ve got to respect it. No matter how ill thought out or fucking stupid or against the wishes of the majority of Labour members it might be. I’m like a breath of fucking fresh air.” He explained.