“3 more days before you can take a shit” Glastonbury punters assured

Glastonbury revellers who arrived on Wednesday and already have the ‘turtles head showing’ have been reassured by organisers that they only have 3 more days before they can drop the kids off at the pool in the comfort of their own home. Land owner, organiser and non-moustached beard type person,  Michael Eavis, hit back angrily […]

Michael Eavis builds 40 foot high fence around eclipse

Michael Eavis has built a 40 foot high fence around tomorrow’s solar eclipse and hired a large security firm to ensure that only those who have paid him £400 a ticket or are on some sort of corporate guest list can sneak a peak. Speaking on Radio One’s Newsbeat Mr Eavis said “I’m very proud […]

“Just climb over the wall” say Glastonbury organisers

Would be Glastonbury festival revellers who have been disappointed at not being able to buy a ticket for £205 plus booking fee may have a second chance to attend as organisers have issued the following statement “Don’t worry about tickets. Just climb over the wall”. In the past organisers have defended the ticket price saying […]