Queen urges legal high binge before law changes

queens speech

The Queen has urged all subjects to have a proper binge on legal highs before they are made illegal in her speech today. Speaking on the first day of parliament her majesty said “My Government will ban anything that looks like a drug, sounds like a drug or smells like a drug with the obvious […]

Aussie women vote Prince Philip “Sexiest man of the year”

prince philip

The results are in: Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh may be known for his sexist gaffes but it seems the women of Australia are more interested in what the ageing Prince has in his trousers, voting him Sexiest Man of the Year 2015. In a double-win for the geriatric Duke, the results were published only days […]

Prince Philip appointed schools inspector

prince philip

David Cameron has announced tough new measures against non-Britishness in schools which will involve a new Ofsted task force headed by the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference the Prime Minister explained “Segregating pupils and force feeding religious ideology is completely unacceptable in our schools. OK, the school I […]

Prince Philip set to resume public duties (on a space hopper)

spacey hopper

Prince Philip will be seen in public for the first time in two months when he visits the Royal Society of Edinburgh on 12 August, a visit he reportedly intends to conduct bouncing up and down on a space hopper according to Royal sources. “He’s made it quite clear that at 92 if he is […]