Islamic state space hopper attack imminent

  A covert attack on Britain from terrorist cell Islamic State is likely to involve the use of 1970s Space Hoppers, according to intelligence sources. “Space Hoppers are such an intrinsic part of British culture that an entire army of jihadists could bounce into a city centre without people raising so much as an eye […]

Prince Philip set to resume public duties (on a space hopper)

Prince Philip will be seen in public for the first time in two months when he visits the Royal Society of Edinburgh on 12 August, a visit he reportedly intends to conduct bouncing up and down on a space hopper according to Royal sources. “He’s made it quite clear that at 92 if he is […]

Church of England “Gay Bishops must sit on space hoppers”

Gay Bishops will be required to preach their sermons whilst bouncing up and down on space hoppers in another shift in their policy on homosexuality in the clergy. After talks between the outgoing Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams and his replacement the Rt Rev Justin Welby it has been decided that there is no […]