Islamic State have today claimed responsibility for a spate of BMW drivers driving aggressively and erratically cutting up other road users and getting points on their licenses.
Allah chuffed to bits with all the jihading
June 26, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Celestial being Allah has gone on record to say that he’s chuffed to bits with all the jihading and has promised a special push to ensure every jihadist has plenty of ethereal virgins for their pleasure once they step into his virtual reality afterlife. In a rare interview the popular deity urged aspiring jihadists to […]
Swiss Family Robinson cross Syrian Border
June 19, 2015 by Leave a Comment
1960’s TV desert island castaways the Swiss Family Robinson are understood to have crossed the border in to Syria, in an alarming trend of fictional characters from the west leaving their relatively safe plot lines to join Islamic State. One expert told us that whilst the reasons for their trip were largely unknown he was […]
Islamic State suspected as Kanye and Kim go missing
June 3, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Islamic State have refused to confirm or deny that they are responsible for the sudden disappearance of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian as concern grows for their whereabouts, neither having appeared on any form of media for a matter of hours. One eye witness told us “I saw two people bundled into a car by […]
Boko Haram swear allegiance to 808 State
March 8, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Nigerian militant group Boko Haram has pledged allegiance to 1990s electronic music band 808 State , according to an audio statement released this morning. The message, which has not been verified, was posted on Boko Haram’s Twitter account and is believed to be by the group’s leader, Abubakar Shekau who said: “We pledge to enhance […]
Grange Hill recruiting for Islamic State
November 8, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Education Secretary Nicky Morgan and Home Secretary Theresa May are said to be at loggerheads this morning at news that former television soap school Grange Hill stands accused of overtly recruiting for extremest Islamic groups such as Al-Qaeda and Islamic State. One former Grange Hill viewer told us “The school hasn’t been on the television […]
Islamic State’s Christmas tips
October 26, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Hi all, my name is Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and you may know me as leader of rapidly growing jihad mongers Islamic State, What you may not realise is that when we’re not beheading people in the name of jihad we like nothing more that a good knees up. And what better time to let your […]
Islamic state space hopper attack imminent
August 30, 2014 by Leave a Comment
A covert attack on Britain from terrorist cell Islamic State is likely to involve the use of 1970s Space Hoppers, according to intelligence sources. “Space Hoppers are such an intrinsic part of British culture that an entire army of jihadists could bounce into a city centre without people raising so much as an eye […]
Northern Comedians sent to cheer up Islamic state
August 27, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Britain is to send a crack team of 1970s northern comedians to Iraq and Syria in an attempt to cheer up members of extremist military organisation Islamic State as part of a series of measures announced by the Government this morning. Speaking at a heaving press conference Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond said “They do seem […]
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