Islamic State claim responsibility for BMW drivers

bmw driver

Islamic State have today claimed responsibility for a spate of BMW drivers driving aggressively and erratically cutting up other road users and getting points on their licenses.

“We are driving like twats until Britain becomes an Islamic caliphate” One man in a 330 M sport with smoked rear windows told us.

“The bloke I bought it off assured me it’s got Allah wheels.”  He added.

“We will wear the West down in a war of attrition, undertaking and running red traffic lights,  until we are rewarded with 72 virgins” A spokesman for BMW at their Oxford headquarters is seen announcing in a chilling video screened via You tube.

“It’s clearly in the name of jihad. Why else would they keep driving like nobs in a sustained attack starting in the 1980s.” One road user remarked.

However other road users have vowed to carry on as normal and not give BMW drivers the satisfaction. Indeed Political commentator Andrew Neil said “You can park your X6 4 litre cock mobile on double yellow lines to your hearts content. We don’t like it. But life will carry on as normal.”

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