Theresa May “Father Christmas to report illegal immigrants”

Father Christmas will be expected to report all persons suspected of not being from round here and not being in possession of the relevant papers, according to new Government legislation announced this morning. Home Secretary Theresa May said that anyone thinking they could just come over here and enjoy a pagan festival which was hijacked […]

UKIP fury at revelations Father Christmas originates from Turkey

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has blamed foreigners for ruining the British institution of Christmas as revelations emerge that the original Santa Claus or Father Christmas, St Nicholas, actually originated from the part of Asia now known as Turkey. Speaking to a hastily assembled press conference an angry Mr Farage said “Flying on an unregistered foreign […]

Islamic State’s Christmas tips

Hi all, my name is  Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and you may know me as leader of rapidly growing jihad mongers Islamic State, What you may not realise is that when we’re not beheading people in the name of jihad we like nothing more that a good knees up. And what better time to let your […]