Putin bans Turkey at Christmas

Russian people are going to have to have either goose or duck for their Christmas dinner following reports that President Putin has banned all feasting on flappy necked birds between Christmas eve and Boxing day. “Anyone planning to celebrate Christmas with a roasted bird that goes by the same name as a country we have […]

UKIP fury at revelations Father Christmas originates from Turkey

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has blamed foreigners for ruining the British institution of Christmas as revelations emerge that the original Santa Claus or Father Christmas, St Nicholas, actually originated from the part of Asia now known as Turkey. Speaking to a hastily assembled press conference an angry Mr Farage said “Flying on an unregistered foreign […]

Turkey to ban links to videos of cats

Prime Minister of Turkey Recep Tayyip Erdogan has vowed  to “wipe out” all parts of the internet that involve links to videos of cats doing funny things. “I don’t care what the international community says at all. These cats are taking the piss out of me and I’m fed up of people saying I can’t […]