Spain fury at British plans for ‘Cock of Gibraltar’

The Spanish Government has today expressed ‘anger and disappointment’ at plans to resculpt  the famous Rock of Gibraltar into a giant penis. Speaking at a press conference this morning a Government spokesman argued  “It is bad enough that you will be able to see this giant phallic monstrosity from 80 miles away. But the fact that  It will also have monkeys crawling all over it adds insult to injury.”

With British Spanish relationships at a twenty year low, Spanish customs officers have been causing huge delays in entering Gibraltar by thoroughly checking every car that attempts to cross the border. One local told us “They’re checking for hammers, chisels, drills or anything that they think might be used in the process of turning the Rock of Gibraltar into a monumental effigy of a one eyed trouser snake.”

The Chief Minister of Gibraltar, Fabian Picardo, has described Spain as “a bully” over the long border queues at the weekend. “This is pure sour grapes by the Spanish Government and comes from jealousy  that Gibraltar will now be seen as the Gateway to Europe. Heralded by a giant todger that can be seen from the coast of Morocco” he added.

British Foreign Secretary William Hague has reaffirmed that as long as the residents wish to live beneath a ‘Cock of Gibraltar’ then the Government will offer its full support. Rumours of covering the rock with a giant tarpaulin to ensure modesty on religious holidays have yet to be confirmed, but are thought likely. “It’ll be like a giant pair of underpants or calzoncillos if you’re Spanish” Mr Hague explained.

Elsewhere on the world stage, the decision by residents of the Falkland Islands to have the Islands resculpted  to look like a pair of bollocks has prompted ‘anger and disappointment’ from the Argentinian Government.