Take That urge public sector workers to call off strike

Take that

After talks with Prime Minister David Cameron today, the members of 1980s boy band Take That have gone on record to urge public sector workers to call off tomorrow’s strike. Set to put an acceptable ageing boy band face to Government plans to curb all union activity, the middle aged crooners are seen as Cameron’s last hope in making them all shut up.

Tax evading multi-millionaire and band leader Gary Barlow explained to a crowd of public sector workers, ranging from Fire fighters to passport office workers, “You must understand that there’s not enough money in the coffers to pay you all enough to live on. Not without me or my band mates paying some tax anyway, which we’re obviously not prepared to do because we’re special.  You’re being lazy and unfair and you need to stop wandering round with placards like life owes you a subsistence living.”

On a sterner note the designer stubbled crooner continued “And you needn’t think taking a sneaky day off to wave placards about is going to make any difference. You see Mark, Jason, Donald and I will actually pick up the slack and perform all of your roles in your absence. Not literally of course, but through music. And we’re going to perform a free concert for all those not taking part in the strike. It’s on Thursday and in the daytime so we’re hoping people will be at work so there won’t be anyone there.”

One council worker told us “It’s a compelling argument and I’d have called off the strike and gone to work if Robbie was still with them. But they’re shit without him so I’ll be striking.”

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