Millions march to thank the Government for its austerity measures

public sector stikes

Millions of public sector workers have today been for an organised walk with a spattering of recreational shouting in thanks to the Government for it’s austerity measures which have been widely seen as unequivocally improving the standard of living for one and all and making Britain great again.

One teacher who was waving a ‘Hooray for Cameron’ placard  told us “We must all bare the brunt of the global financial collapse due to the overselling of sub prime mortgages in America. We must then blame it on the labour party, the unions and of course ourselves. I’m glad to help by not having a pay rise, it’s not like I do anything important after all. I just wish they could make my holidays shorter too.”

A care worker agreed “We’ve just come to say hooray for austerity. It’s clearly what we need as a society to have a disillusioned, criminally underpaid team of care workers entrusted to look after the most vulnerable in society. The Government can then pay a fortune for inspectors to point out our failings and put it down to us being underpaid.”

One Policeman we spoke to explained  “I’m not officially on the march but it’s good that we’re suffering drastic cuts as well. Less police will encourage people to sort out their own problems within the community by way of kangaroo courts and knee jerk beatings.”

The march which largely had a carnival atmosphere also included many Doctors and nurses. One Doctor said “It’s brilliant news that the Government no longer wants to have a NHS. People have had enough of our stupid science anyway. And when we’re too expensive for normal people to afford, people can rely on traditional ancient spiritual cures. Ok, people only used to live until they were 28 but at least they were at one with nature.”

David Cameron has gone on record to thank all public sector workers for their words of appreciation. “That’s the spirit, who needs food anyway? If I’m guilty of anything, it’s caring too much” he explained.

 

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