Mark E Smith to replace Jason Orange in Take That

The Fall front man Mark E Smith has confirmed today that he will be replacing Jason Orange in Take That with immediate effect. Front man Gary Barlow told us “We needed someone else called orange in a hurry. We couldn’t find one so the nearest we could get was Mark E Smith who’s 1988 album […]

Take That urge public sector workers to call off strike

After talks with Prime Minister David Cameron today, the members of 1980s boy band Take That have gone on record to urge public sector workers to call off tomorrow’s strike. Set to put an acceptable ageing boy band face to Government plans to curb all union activity, the middle aged crooners are seen as Cameron’s […]

Gary Barlow in dock for mis-selling Take That songs

A recent life time achievement award from the music industry has been sadly marred by revelations that Gary Barlow conspired to sell Take That songs to members of the public in a misleading fashion. Songs that they neither wanted nor needed. The right wing tax evading 1990s crooner was unavailable for comment today as charges […]

Robbie Williams now too old for Radio Two

Radio 2 have announced today that they will be following radio one in refusing to play Robbie Williams on the basis that he is now middle aged and makes everybody else feel old. According to Chris Evans “Our target age group of over 35s are trying desperately to cling on to their lost youth but […]