Mark E Smith to replace Jason Orange in Take That

The Fall front man Mark E Smith has confirmed today that he will be replacing Jason Orange in Take That with immediate effect.

Front man Gary Barlow told us “We needed someone else called orange in a hurry. We couldn’t find one so the nearest we could get was Mark E Smith who’s 1988 album Curious Orange involved him singing about  William of Orange despite having no historical knowledge about him at all. He was perfect for the job”

Indeed the replacement almost seemed to be fate to some as Mr E Smith was already present when Jason Orange made his resignation speech, the two having seemed very close for the last few days. One observer said “It almost looked like Mark was holding Jason’s arm behind his back and Jason was grimacing whilst he handed in his resignation. It can’t have been that though. Mark must merely have been holding his arm for moral support.”

“Welcome to Take that-ah a third rate blend of singing, dancing and tax evasion-ah.” Mr E Smith explained.

“Can’t dance, can’t sing. Cursed forever as William of Orange. Actually I can do both. But I’m not going to.” he continued.

Mr E Smith has already told fans that he is very much accustomed to line-up changes and will continue Take That alone or with completely different singers should Barlow, Donald or the other one decide to leave.

“I’m not here to make friends. And basically I am the fucking band.” he explained.