Atos declare Kim Jong Un fit for work

atos kim jong un

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un will need to pull his finger out and get back to public engagements according to healthcare assessment company ATOS who have declared the portly despot fit for work.

A spokesman for ATOS said “We have reason to believe that despite his protests to the contrary he’s perfectly fit and well, and more than likely sitting around in his pants watching the Jeremy Kyle show. He may think he’s clever slacking off like this, but he’ll soon feel differently when he finds his benefits have been stopped.”

Whilst the chubby tyrant himself was not available for discussion, a spokesman from Pyongyang called the ruling both unfair and unkind.

“You’ll be saying he has to pay bedroom tax on his 78 spare bedrooms in his main residence next. He is ill.  He’s very ill indeed. He’s got scurvy. Or gout. Or flatulence. Or housemaid’s knee. Either way he can’t possibly be expected to perform his normal duties of pointing things and being on the receiving end of desperate cheering from subjects attempting not to be executed.”

One other claimant who had failed his ATOS assessment told us “Having lost my benefits as well. I feel desperately sorry for the lardy tyrant. Bit I’m sure he’ll be back to tying dissenters to posts and mortar bombing them in no time.”

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