Furious Gary Barlow demands explanation from PM over tax affairs

An incandescent with rage Gary Barlow has gone on record to demand and a full and frank explanation of David Cameron’s tax affairs.

Gary Barlow in OBE giving back avoidance scheme

Former 1990s bland songsmith Gary Barlow has again been criticised today as evidence has emerged that he entered into an OBE giving back avoidance scheme, a scheme so complex that it managed to sidestep all OBE giving back laws and protocol, resulting in the scenario that he still has one. A parliamentary insider explained that […]

Top 100 UK billionaires “bound to share it out sooner or later”

Britain’s poorest families have today received a welcome boost to their spirits amidst benefit cuts and food banks at breaking point, as the new Sunday Times rich list published today shows that there’s actually enough money for everybody. Surely it has been argued, none of them would want to keep such an obscene amount of […]

Gary Barlow in dock for mis-selling Take That songs

A recent life time achievement award from the music industry has been sadly marred by revelations that Gary Barlow conspired to sell Take That songs to members of the public in a misleading fashion. Songs that they neither wanted nor needed. The right wing tax evading 1990s crooner was unavailable for comment today as charges […]

One Direction die in aeroplane crash

Fans throughout the western world are today looking for a new band to follow and get all excited about after rumours that the band One Direction may or may not have come to a sorry demise, if they had been on a plane and that plane had unfortunately crashed. One tearful fan told us “We […]

Songs of praise to be judged by Simon Cowell

BBC1’s religious shanty programme ‘Songs of Praise’ is to now have Simon Cowell commenting after each hymn and awarding points as part of what many see as a long overdue revamp of the programme. A spokesman for the BBC told us “It should have been done years ago. The show’s been running since 1961 where […]

BBC to axe “The weather”

It’s been one of Britains longest running series of all time, but today Director General of the BBC, Lord Hall of Birkenhead, has confirmed that the final part of the weather will be screened on Sunday. “We’ve nowhere else to go with it. We’ve had it all, strong winds, weak winds, swirly winds, hot snow, […]