ISIS Chief’s first video panned by critics

ISIS Chief Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is said to be working on a new video after his first one released today has been almost universally panned by critics. Irish record producer and manager of bands such as Westlife and Boyzone, Louis Walsh, told us that the leader of the militant Islamist group would have work to […]

Songs of praise to be judged by Simon Cowell

BBC1’s religious shanty programme ‘Songs of Praise’ is to now have Simon Cowell commenting after each hymn and awarding points as part of what many see as a long overdue revamp of the programme. A spokesman for the BBC told us “It should have been done years ago. The show’s been running since 1961 where […]

X Factor ratings set to plummet as channel 4 series “Man shits in bucket” commences

Simon Cowell was said this morning to be “livid” regarding a surprise change to the Channel 4 schedule which will involve a screening of a man taking a dump into a bucket. It’s thought that this will be shown at the same time as every X factor episode throughout the new series, and that the […]