Fears mount of Sting releasing another anti-cold war song

In Europe and America there’s a growing feeling of hysteria or so the song went. And fears are mounting today that amidst the worsening crisis in Ukraine and sabre rattling from Russian President Vladimir Putin, former Police front man Sting may be likely to release another anti-cold war song.

A source close to Sting told us “Honestly he’s like a cat on a hot tin roof. He’s  waiting at the sidelines, chomping at the bit for relations to break down just a bit more so he can stand there with a black and white background musing on the fact that despite their ideological differences, Russian people go to the toilet just like us.”

A spokesman from the Kremlin has called the plans disproportionate and heavy handed. “We expected a diplomatic cold shoulder and a few sanctions but there is no precedent for a response like this. The last time Mr Sting released a song of this nature, the iron curtain was down, we didn’t have the internet and no-one over here had to listen to it.”

Indeed the forthcoming single “Moscow khazi” has already gone viral on you tube and has sparked rumours of Irish rockers U2 releasing something similar. Lead singer Bono has refused to confirm this but has issued the following statement:

“Only Oi speak for the Russian speaking people. Oi don’t speak Russian myself and oi’ve no plans to go there but  if you’ve anything to say to them you can speak to me first.”