Bill Gates changes his name to Johnny Big Potatoes

billy gatesMicrosoft founder Bill Gates has formally changed his name to Johnny Big Potatoes in a move that is thought likely to start a trend among his similarly uber-wealthy counterparts. The decision coincides with the news that the computer tycoon has regained the top spot as the world’s richest person, according to Forbes magazine’s annual ranking of global billionaires.

Speaking to a representatives of the media from around the world, Gates explained that his immense riches weren’t enough unless he could have a special big potatoes name to go with it.

“I’m sick of people calling me Bill or Mr Gates, it doesn’t do my immense wealth justice.  I’m the richest man in the world and I shit diamonds. I frequently take a bath in caviar and I need a name that does justice to my huge potatoes.

“You people go into pound or dollar shops and buy useless shit which you don’t really want but you buy because it’s so cheap. I go into million pound or dollar shops and buy platinum diamond encrusted shit that I don’t really want. I’m so rich that I sometimes order a pizza when I’m not hungry and then I don’t even eat it!”

One member of the public told us that Mr Big Potatoes nee Gates would have his full support.”When a quarter of the world are suffering absolute poverty, it’s uplifting to know that Bill’s got 76 billion dollars in his bank account. And if he doesn’t get himself a gangsta name to go with it, it would seem a bit vulgar” he explained.

Meanwhile the richest man in Britain the Duke of Westminster is reported to have changed his name. To Sir Johnny Big Potatoes.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: