Donald Trump is to ban journalists from all future press conferences until they learn to stop asking the wrong questions and start writing down the things that he tells them.
Fury as athletes on drugs should be running faster
December 9, 2016 by 1 Comment
Athletes on drugs should really be running at 40 mph and should be able to jump nearly as high as a house, according to a report by the International Olympic Committee.
Putin outlines Trump’s induction week
November 10, 2016 by 2 Comments
Russian Premier Vladimir Putin has sent Donald Trump his firm offer of the job in the White House and outlined the itinerary for his induction week.
Putin “I had nothing to do with the football violence or the invasion of Ukraine”
June 13, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Russian President Vladimir Putin has confirmed today that he had absolutely nothing to do with the recent football violence in France and nothing to do with the invasion of Ukraine either.
Ravers angrily deny doping claims
November 10, 2015 by 1 Comment
Ravers from the late eighties through to the late nineties have reacted furiously to accusations that they used illegal drugs in order to award themselves with the title of having had the “best night ever” The revelations have caused upset amongst non drug using ravers who spent night out after night out dancing away to […]
Putin “We’ll completely understand if Russia loses world cup”
June 9, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Russian President Vladimir Putin has said that he will completely understand if Russia loses the right to host the 2018 World Cup should some evidence of bribery be uncovered in the current FBI investigation on FIFA. Speaking to a heaving press conference the Mr Putin said “We will of course launch a full investigation into […]
Boney M banned from Russia
May 31, 2015 by 1 Comment
Members of the 1970s band Boney M have been told that they will face a travel ban on any future trips to Russia should they be planning such a thing according to information released this morning. The band are reportedly on a list of almost a hundred public figures all banned from Russia which includes […]
Russia bans half naked men from riding horses
January 11, 2015 by 1 Comment
Russia have banned topless men from riding horses in a way that shows off their man boobs as part of new legislation that is not actually homophobic but instead designed to maximise road safety. A spokesman for the Ministry of transport who have also banned the 1970s band the Village People from riding motorbikes explained […]
Putin promises G20 environmentally friendly Ukraine invasion
November 15, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Viewed as an olive branch to ease tensions between himself and other world leaders, Russia’s President Vladimir Putin has today pledged to make his invasion of Ukraine greener and more ecologically sound. Mr Putin admonished the other leaders attending the G20 in Brisbane for avoiding such a serious issue. “The rest of you are putting […]
Putin wins interim Eurovision song contest
November 2, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Russian President Vladimir Putin has won an interim Eurovision song contest. Whilst the Premier has yet to be congratulated officially by other world leaders for his success, he has sent himself congratulations on behalf of Poland, Estonia and Sweden. Held behind closed doors it is reported that Putin sung a very catchy song about himself […]
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