Donald Trump is to ban journalists from all future press conferences until they learn to stop asking the wrong questions and start writing down the things that he tells them.
“I am America’s first orange President. And rather than celebrate that, you just write unfair things about me an my Russian masters. You should be running articles about me riding butt naked on a horse or yarns about me diving to bottom of the sea and finding ancient vases. Putin wouldn’t put up with it. So you can all leave now.”
Mr Trump is thought to have continued talking for at least an hour. However a correspondent from the New York Times said “We don’t know whether he did for certain though. He made everyone who vaguely looked like they could read and write leave just to make sure.”
It’s thought that Mr Trump is angry with much of the media following criticism of his attempt to offer Ronald McDonald a senior advisory role in his Government.
“CNN might say he’s not a real person. But those are just their facts.” He tweeted.
News Toad 
POTUS would be more absurd than that. “Simply banning them” isn’t enough!