The Pope has been called on today to ditch his antiquated religious garb from the middle ages and wear swimming trunks round the clock on the off chance that he fancies a dip in the sea.
“I don’t even know if he likes swimming. But one things for sure I’ve never seen him in a pair of speedos so the likelihood is that if he does plunge into the sea for a refreshing dip he probably wears all his popey clobber in the sea as well. And that is quite clearly unacceptable.” One angry beach goer explained.
“It’s offensive to people who use condoms. Especially if they’re using them on the beach at the time. No-one wants to be put of their stride by an over dressed senior catholic doing the front crawl without revealing any flesh” Another added.
The revelation of non-exhibitionist aquatic papal tomfoolery has already sparked angry protests on beaches throughout Europe.
“We want to see his bulge. The fact that through his present attire we can in no way see an outline of his meat and two veg is preposterous.” One furious protester told us
“One things for sure. when Jesus reached out to the fishermen on the sea of Galilee he most definitely would have been wearing some sort of western inspired swimming attire.”
The Catholic church has only recently ceased the practice of making all priests wear cassocks before going on water slides. “It’s like we’re stuck in the middle ages” One Vatican insider confided.
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