SNP demand vote on 1976 Eurovision song contest

Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has described legislation that stops Scottish MPs voting retrospectively on the winning act in the 1976 Eurovision Song Contest as “Unacceptable”. Incensed that the winning song, ‘Save all your kisses for me’ by Brotherhood of Man, was seemingly pushed through without any consultation of Scottish MPs Ms Sturgeon said: “You […]

Eurovision viewers urged to start drinking now

Anticipated spectators of 2015’s Eurovision song contest due to be held in Vienna in May have been urged by experts to start drinking alcohol immediately and in great quantities, in order to survive the relentless battering of absolute bollocks to the auditory cortex, which is widely tipped to be the worst since 1976. The move […]

Australia to enter Eurovision with “Beds are burning”

Australian band Midnight Oil are already being tipped as likely winners of the Eurovision song contest 2015 with their song “Beds are burning” Though this will be the first time the country have entered the competition due to it being in completely the wrong continent, the show has a long tradition of being broadcast in […]

Putin wins interim Eurovision song contest

Russian President Vladimir Putin has won an interim Eurovision song contest. Whilst the Premier has yet to be congratulated officially by other world leaders for his success, he has sent himself congratulations on behalf of Poland, Estonia and Sweden. Held behind closed doors it is reported that Putin sung a very catchy song about himself […]

Molly Smitten Downes to fart new Eurovision entry

  New British hopeful Molly Smitten-Downes has pledged to win the 2013 Eurovision song contest for Britain without singing a note in the conventional sense, but by simply farting along with the background music, in a surprise announcement from the British Eurovision Committee. The singer,aged 26, has welcomed the challenge of representing her country and […]