Russian President Vladimir Putin has won an interim Eurovision song contest. Whilst the Premier has yet to be congratulated officially by other world leaders for his success, he has sent himself congratulations on behalf of Poland, Estonia and Sweden.
Held behind closed doors it is reported that Putin sung a very catchy song about himself retrieving a vase from the bottom of the sea whilst riding a sea horse semi-naked.
“It was by far the best song and not at all gay.” an inside source explained.
The premier has hit out at Western media who have criticised the unexpected euro song fest.
“There are far right forces that are bullying the people into having the Eurovision song contest at the usual time once a year. These are backed by the west and it is completely unacceptable.That is why we are having another one on compassionate grounds.”
Under Eurovision rules Mr Putin will be required to host the next song contest which he says will be at a time of his choosing. “It has been decided that I have won. We must respect the will of the people and not hold another one. The next one to be held in Austria in May 2015 is a complete sham.”
Former Eurovision presenter Terry Wogan said “I’ve not heard the song yet but I’ve a feeling we’d better all pour ourselves a very stiff drink.”
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