Russian President Vladimir Putin has confirmed today that he had absolutely nothing to do with the recent football violence in France and nothing to do with the invasion of Ukraine either.
Putin “I had nothing to do with the football violence or the invasion of Ukraine”
June 13, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Boney M banned from Russia
May 31, 2015 by 1 Comment
Members of the 1970s band Boney M have been told that they will face a travel ban on any future trips to Russia should they be planning such a thing according to information released this morning. The band are reportedly on a list of almost a hundred public figures all banned from Russia which includes […]
Putin promises G20 environmentally friendly Ukraine invasion
November 15, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Viewed as an olive branch to ease tensions between himself and other world leaders, Russia’s President Vladimir Putin has today pledged to make his invasion of Ukraine greener and more ecologically sound. Mr Putin admonished the other leaders attending the G20 in Brisbane for avoiding such a serious issue. “The rest of you are putting […]
Putin wins interim Eurovision song contest
November 2, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Russian President Vladimir Putin has won an interim Eurovision song contest. Whilst the Premier has yet to be congratulated officially by other world leaders for his success, he has sent himself congratulations on behalf of Poland, Estonia and Sweden. Held behind closed doors it is reported that Putin sung a very catchy song about himself […]
Russia sends Ukraine a giant horse as part of aid mission
August 12, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Russian premier Vladimir Putin has today pledged support for an international aid mission in Eastern Ukraine by donating a gargantuan metal horse Speaking on TV channel Russia Today Mr Putin said “Eastern Ukranians have endured a terrible time which is obviously nothing to do with us, but we would like to lift everyone’s spirits a […]
Britain in shock as foreign countries use weapons we sold them
July 23, 2014 by 3 Comments
The British Government is said to be “shocked, outraged, appalled” at revelations arising today that many of the countries we sell weapons of mass destruction may well end up using them. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said “We’re shocked, outraged and appalled. We have a strict policy of not […]
Putin “Plane was shot down by escaped monkey”
July 20, 2014 by Leave a Comment
According to Russian president Vladimir Putin, Flight MH17 was shot down by an escaped monkey who was out of control and had randomly managed to slip past tight security and set off a surface to air missile, as confirmed by the results of a full and thorough Kremlin led enquiry released today. Speaking at a […]
Fears mount of Sting releasing another anti-cold war song
March 4, 2014 by Leave a Comment
In Europe and America there’s a growing feeling of hysteria or so the song went. And fears are mounting today that amidst the worsening crisis in Ukraine and sabre rattling from Russian President Vladimir Putin, former Police front man Sting may be likely to release another anti-cold war song. A source close to Sting told […]
Putin promises to keep invasions down to a minimum
March 2, 2014 by 2 Comments
President of Russia Vladimir Putin has today promised that he will keep all invasions down to a minimum. Mr Putin has blamed foreign interference for him choosing to invade foreign countries but promised despite this he will be exercising restraint and will not be invading somewhere every day. “We will start every morning by asking […]
England beat Monty Don 4-1
October 11, 2013 by Leave a Comment
England have proved themselves a force to be reckoned with this evening having destroyed middle aged celebrity gardener Monty Don with a final score of of 4-1 “I know I lost but I had a lovely time admiring such a well mown lawn so I don’t begrudge the victory. And you all looked so pleased. […]
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.