Mark Steele “We should stop selling towels to Germany”

Hi I’m Mark Steele. I’m a cheeky young lefty chappy in his fifties. I was just reading about Spanish authorities charging Germans for leaving their towels on sun loungers over night. And I thought to myself, this is our fault. More to the point it’s Thatcher’s. Ok everyone knows that the Germans annexe every bit […]

“Migrants will steal your houses and eat your pets” warns Daily Mail

A new influx of migrants expected to all arrive at the same time on Jan 1st 2014 will steal the houses of hard working people brick by brick before barbecuing and eating any household pets, according to a stark warning issued today by the Daily Mail. Keep Britain Britishy campaigner and Daily Mail knee jerk […]

England beat Monty Don 4-1

England have proved themselves a force to be reckoned with this evening  having destroyed middle aged celebrity gardener Monty Don with a final score of of 4-1 “I know I lost but I had a lovely time admiring such a well mown lawn so I don’t begrudge the victory.  And you all looked so pleased. […]

Nigel Farage to employ special ‘racist finding’ psychic octopus

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has announced new plans to identify racists within the party who may have forgotten to mention that they were racist when they first joined the party. It is believed Mr Farage has used his own finances to purchase a distant relative of Germany’s ‘Paul the Octopus’ who shares the same psychic octopus […]