Armchair pundit called Gavin announced as new England Manager

Plucked from obscurity in a surprise move by the FA, Gavin Watson is set to become a household name after being announced as the replacement for Roy Hodgson who resigned last night.

England beat Monty Don 4-1

England have proved themselves a force to be reckoned with this evening  having destroyed middle aged celebrity gardener Monty Don with a final score of of 4-1 “I know I lost but I had a lovely time admiring such a well mown lawn so I don’t begrudge the victory.  And you all looked so pleased. […]

David Beckham quits football to take drugs and go raving

David Beckham is to retire from football at the end of this season after an illustrious 20-year career, to follow his dream of getting absolutely munted on a cocktail of narcotics and attending all night raves. Reportedly ‘insanely jealous’ of ravers who get to stay up all night, whilst he has had to get an […]