Iran to join EU warn BREXIT campaigners

The Islamic republic of Iran will most likely join the EU later this year according to UKIP leader and prominent BREXIT campaigner Nigel Farage.

Beheadings promised for beheadings in retaliation for beheadings as punishment for beheadings

Someone somewhere in the middle east or over here has promised revenge or divine retribution after some people had their heads chopped off by way of revenge for some other people having their heads chopped off. One angry Cleric we spoke to said “Our God is a peaceful and merciful God. And we will chop […]

Ayatollah Khamenei “Pluto must be reinstated as a planet”

The Supreme Leader of Iran Ayatollah Khamenei has published an open letter to the “Youth in Europe and North America” demanding that they stop ignoring the dwarf planet Pluto and start treating it like any other planet. The letter claims the West is subject to a disinformation campaign from its politicians and criticizes Western media sources […]

Britain in shock as foreign countries use weapons we sold them

The British Government is said to be “shocked, outraged, appalled” at revelations arising today that many of the countries we sell weapons of mass destruction may well end up using them. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said “We’re shocked, outraged and appalled. We have a strict policy of not […]

Iran nuclear deal all thanks to Doctor Who

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Well actually he wasn’t. But in many respects he was, as it took Doctor Who played by Hurt, Tennant and Smith to finally convince the world that Iran should really have nuclear power. An insider from the talks in Geneva explained “It was quite clear that no-one really had their heart […]

Obama and Cameron to attack Puppet Island

Barack Obama and David Cameron have today indicated that they will join forces to drop bombs on the rogue state of Puppet Island, with or without a United Nations resolution. In a joint statement, said in unison, the two premiers told a packed press conference “We’ve got loads of missiles and it’s time to pile in […]

Worldwide shock as Iran elects Johnny Vegas as President

Chubby comedian Johnny Vegas has surprised many on the world political stage by being voted in as Iran’s new president, replacing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. After what was seemingly a shock endorsement by Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, Mr Vegas has rapidly gained the popular vote after suggesting that the entire Iranian population should spend one day […]

Iran to offer space holidays for monkeys

Iran has been accused of creating a smokescreen with it’s highly publicised ‘free of charge galactic monkey holidays’ the first of which happened yesterday. Western Governments have argued that this display of overt monkey kindness may have a sinister ulterior motive and indeed theories have ranged from plans to start a pro-Iranian ‘planet of the […]