Obama and Cameron to attack Puppet Island

puppet island

Barack Obama and David Cameron have today indicated that they will join forces to drop bombs on the rogue state of Puppet Island, with or without a United Nations resolution.

In a joint statement, said in unison, the two premiers told a packed press conference “We’ve got loads of missiles and it’s time to pile in somewhere again. Iran and North Korea are a tad too tooled up for our liking, so it’s got to be Puppet Island. We’ve received intelligence that many of the Island’s inhabitants have been hitting each other over the head whilst a crocodile puppet eats all the sausages.  We have no option but to punish them for attacking each other by attacking them better ourselves. We’d like to do it with a UN resolution but they’re not coming to talk to us until Saturday and unfortunately we want to invade on Friday .”

Puppet Island is officially presided over  by Colonel Soot-eh who has ruled with an iron fist since the 1970s, though is still seen to be a relatively moderate influence on his sometimes out of control Chief of Staff Sweep.  A spokesman for the regime told us “We don’t want your democracy. We prefer to decide our affairs through a blend of comic misadventure and extreme violence, generally with some sort of musical accompaniment.”

For many people this has been a situation waiting to happen. Goose stepping historian David Starkey told us “Many of these puppets received their military training in America and Britain, who were also rumoured to have collaborated to put Colonel Soot-eh in power. He’s long been known as a puppet dictator. Well obviously he’s a puppet and a dictator but he’s a puppet puppet dictator. Or something.”

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair explained that whilst unilateral action by Britain and USA may appear to not have the support of the United Nations, such resolutions or lack of them are not designed to be taken literally. “You see by the UN disagreeing with any invasion they are actually in effect agreeing with it. So yes, the UN are actually wrong but they’re also right. And God wants us to drop bombs.”

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