Climate change “Stuff’n’nonsense” concludes world summit

Climate change is simply stuff’n’nonsense peddled by hippies to mask the real issue that they need to get a job and a haircut, the world climate summit in Paris has concluded today. Representatives from over 200 countries, who had all flown to Paris by plane, are thought to have spent several minutes standing outside in […]

Kim Jong-un wins at hide and seek

Pyongyang have hailed none other than the supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Kim Jong-un, as the winner of what has been described as the worlds largest game of hide and seek. Seen by many as an orchestrated display of sabre rattling, the portly despot has shown the world that he is […]

World pleads for release of Justin Bieber

Much of the worlds population have put their differences aside today to plead for the release of teenage crooner Justin Bieber who is facing charges of abusing policemen, taking drugs and driving like a cunt. Protests throughout the western world ranged from a mass “go to bed for 8 hours followed by breakfast” to an […]

David Cameron brings imaginary friend to G20 meeting

David Cameron is reportedly set for a series of private meetings within G20 with another delegate that apparently no-one else can see and is known solely as Roland. One journalist covering the meeting in Moscow told us “It’s been a funny conference so far. Nobody seemed to want to talk to Mr Cameron but he […]

Obama and Cameron to attack Puppet Island

Barack Obama and David Cameron have today indicated that they will join forces to drop bombs on the rogue state of Puppet Island, with or without a United Nations resolution. In a joint statement, said in unison, the two premiers told a packed press conference “We’ve got loads of missiles and it’s time to pile in […]

Barack Obama “I’m watching you through a telescope”

President of the United States Barack Obama has revealed that he spends most of his time keeping tabs on US citizens and foreigners alike through a special super powered telescope that can see as far as the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, and also through walls.  Responding to accusations that US Government agents are […]

David Cameron tells ministers “I’ll get Obama on you”

David Cameron has reportedly flown to Washington to ‘tell’ on his senior ministers who have tried to speed up a referendum to pull out of Europe behind his back. Education Secretary Michael Gove has apparently received a text from the Prime Minister saying “You wait, I’m telling on you. Then you’ll be sorry” before David […]

“Isle of Wight has weapons of mass destruction” warns Barack Obama

A US invasion of the Isle of Wight became ever more imminent today as President Barack Obama warned that there may or may not be some intelligence to suggest that the pariah Island may have weapons of mass destruction. Speaking at a press conference this morning Mr Obama stated “We have varying degrees of confidence […]