Germany considers Greece’s proposal to shove their debt up their arse

Eurozone finance ministers are thought to be seriously considering Greece’s proposal that, rather than discuss a new bail out, they actually take the whole debt and shove it up their arse. The proposal comes following a widely publicised referendum where they Greek people chose rectally depositing their debt as opposed to the other two options […]

Merkel anger as Greece does moonlight flit

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is said to be incensed today following reports that the entire Greek islands have disappeared over night without leaving a forwarding address. According to neighbours Turkey, some rustling and “shhh” sounds were heard from across across the border, smattered with occasional giggling, but reports on when the country actually disappeared vary. […]

Tens of people join Pro-austerity marches

Literally tens of people have taken part in pro-austerity marches held throughout Europe today. The march which included a mixture of politicians, corporations heads and landed gentry is thought to have sent a clear and decisive message to anti-austerity campaigners to know their place and stop being so silly. One marcher told us that the […]

“I will stick my finger up your arse” Merkel tells Cameron

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has told David Cameron in no uncertain terms that whether the UK remains in the EU or not she will exercise her right to stick her index finger up his arse, most probably when he least expects it. “Whether Britain leaves the EU or not I have my index finger primed […]

David Cameron brings imaginary friend to G20 meeting

David Cameron is reportedly set for a series of private meetings within G20 with another delegate that apparently no-one else can see and is known solely as Roland. One journalist covering the meeting in Moscow told us “It’s been a funny conference so far. Nobody seemed to want to talk to Mr Cameron but he […]

Cameron tells Europe “Give us a better deal or I’ll release the monkey people”

David Cameron has told the European Union “Give us a better deal or I’ll release the monkey people” leaving many shocked at the surprisingly short speech that had been awaited for months and postponed several times. The speech has sparked debate throughout the media as well as throughout Europe as to what Mr Cameron actually […]