Tens of people join Pro-austerity marches

Literally tens of people have taken part in pro-austerity marches held throughout Europe today. The march which included a mixture of politicians, corporations heads and landed gentry is thought to have sent a clear and decisive message to anti-austerity campaigners to know their place and stop being so silly.

One marcher told us that the mere thought of debts being written off in the name of starting again with a more egalitarian society was preposterous and likely to end only in incest and buggery.

“If we don’t make life thoroughly miserable for people now, anarchy will reign and we won’t be able to make life thoroughly miserable for people in the long run. So grow up and pay up for our mistakes.

“We’ve all got to tighten your belts.”

British Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne said that he “applauded democracy in action” and hoped that now a line would be drawn under the whole debate.

The marches for both points of view come as German Chancellor Angela Merkel has insisted that all Greeks honour the promises of their last Government and only eat sandwiches with one slice of bread. The stipulation that only the top slice of bread can be used with nothing underneath has angered the new Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras who hit back at Ms Merkel saying “There is now nothing to stop the filling falling on the floor.”