David Cameron brings imaginary friend to G20 meeting

david cameron's imaginary friend

David Cameron is reportedly set for a series of private meetings within G20 with another delegate that apparently no-one else can see and is known solely as Roland. One journalist covering the meeting in Moscow told us “It’s been a funny conference so far. Nobody seemed to want to talk to Mr Cameron but he seemed quite happy to talk into thin air. At one point Angela Merkel came over for a quick word but he appeared to be talking through her. He seemed to have a slightly glazed look in his eyes most of the time.  And in the coffee break he picked up two cups, one for him and one for Roland.”

Despite the lack of an offer from the USA of a private meeting with Barack Obama, who chose instead to meet up with French President Francois Hollande, Mr Cameron has maintained that Britain is still a key player on the world stage  “We may not be able to join the coalition in terms of actually doing anything but we’ve still got a plan. And me and Roland are off to discuss it now. He’s as real as you or I.”

Mayor of London Boris Johnson said that the Prime Minister’s behaviour was unfortunate but not unexpected. “He was just the bladdy same at Eton. Every time things didn’t go his way he’d disappear and spend all his time with an invisible pupil called ‘Roland’. And his father had to pay double the school fees so Roland could have his own bed and desk.

Barack Obama has publicly said that he is “not bothered” about the decline in Britain and America’s special relationship. “One blip and it turns out that he’s had a special relationship with an invisible former Etonian called Roland all along. I feel used.”

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