Cameron tells Europe “Give us a better deal or I’ll release the monkey people”

david cameron 5

David Cameron has told the European Union “Give us a better deal or I’ll release the monkey people” leaving many shocked at the surprisingly short speech that had been awaited for months and postponed several times.

The speech has sparked debate throughout the media as well as throughout Europe as to what Mr Cameron actually meant. German Chancellor Angela Merkel was the first European leader to ask questions. “What does he mean ‘Release the monkey people’? Is this some sort of code for letting the British public decide on a full in/out referendum? Or is it that he keeps a hoard of half man half monkey cross breeds in captivity and plans to release them? A little bit like the Island of Doctor Moreau I think perhaps?”

UKIP leader Nigel Fararage welcomed the Prime Minister’s statement but questioned his terminology. “I’m sure he means a referendum really but he should really treat the public with more respect. He should say ‘let the herd out the gate’ instead. If that is what he meant. If he meant something else I have no advice for him at all.”

The Prime Minister has been warned that he risks putting Britain in a difficult position should his demands in Europe not be made. He told us “Look, I prefer to be positive and optimistic. I feel we have every chance of striking up a brand new deal in which Britain can function within Europe from a position of strength.”

“Otherwise I’ll have no option but to release the monkey people” he added.

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