Merkel anger as Greece does moonlight flit


German Chancellor Angela Merkel is said to be incensed today following reports that the entire Greek islands have disappeared over night without leaving a forwarding address.

According to neighbours Turkey, some rustling and “shhh” sounds were heard from across across the border, smattered with occasional giggling, but reports on when the country actually disappeared vary.

Ms Merkel has made an impassioned plea for anyone with any information regarding the whereabouts of Greece to come forward. “Running away in the middle of the night without paying us is highly irresponsible, not to mention inefficient” she claimed.

Alexis Tsipras, president of the newly named Fuck off Islands that appear to have suddenly arisen in the exact spot where Greece was previously situated said he’d never heard of Greece, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it never came back.

“In Greece’s absence I would like to apply for the Fuck Off Islands to join the EU. We have beautiful weather and no national debt.” He explained.

The disappearance of the worlds oldest democracy is said to have shocked an EU already reeling from the disappearance of Iceland off the face of the earth and the sudden appearance of Stickauseterityupyourarseland that miraculously arrived in its place. EU spokesman Juan Caunetto said it was only money after all and it was probably time to write everything off and start again anyway.

“It’s not about the money. We don’t need your money. We just want to make the world dance. Forget about the price tag” He told us.

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