Thatcher alive and working in a bar in Gambia

thatcher in gambia

The Government were today rethinking the £12 million funeral planned for former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher after reports that she is actually alive and working in a beach bar in the Gambia. Gone it appears is her ginger hair and her steely demeanour.  The new life in the sun has made her black, well built and a bloke. Now known to friends as Ibrahim, the former premier spoke to us.

“Yes, as you can see I am very much alive and well. Can I get you a drink? We serve both Gambian and European beers. And should you be hungry we also serve french toast.”

However, one generic northerner that we spoke to was cynical of the career change. “If she thinks she can just carry on being an African barman in his mid thirties and expect us to forget about the pit closures that split society down the middle then she has another thing coming. I for one will not be celebrating with her”.

The Daily Mail and the Daily Express however have both joined forces to wish the former premier the best of luck with her new challenge and have issued a joint statement arguing that anyone who doesn’t “should be placed in a giant catapult and launched straight into the sun”.

One backpacker travelling through the Gambia had just been served a beer by ‘Ibrahim’ when we spoke to him. “I’m too young to remember the Thatcher years but it’s difficult to conceive that she was once pro-aparteid in South Africa. Or he. I’m confused now.”

It is not clear how the British Government will entertain the visiting dignitaries now there may be no funeral to go to. “We’ll probably just get them all really pissed ” an insider told us.

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