Top Gear to have bird saying if cars are a nice colour

evans top gear

Top Gear will be departing from it’s misogynistic roots by featuring a bird every week who tells us whether she prefers a pink car or a white car, according to new presenter Chris Evans.

“I’ll never get accused of sexism if there’s a bird on it.” He explained cheerfully.

Sandy Toksvig who is the bookie’s favourite to join Evans on the programme about cars said “Hopefully we’re not just going to talk about cars all the time. A car is just something to get from a to b really. But I do like the pink one.”

The change of format of the television programme has not been universally well received. One former viewer told us “A bird and a ginger talking about cars? It’s not natural. Personally, I’m not going to be watching Top Gear anymore unless they reinstate Clarkson, May and Hammond. Nor any of the rival car programmes for that matter. Or any programmes that show even a glimpse of a car. As for the real life and the outside world, that can fuck off as well, I’m going to shut all the curtains and stay in the house to ensure I don’t even get a glimpse of a car. It’s all fucked. They can whistle for it.”

A spokesperson for the National Association of Bloody Women Drivers called the moves a step in the right direction.

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