Top Gear to have bird saying if cars are a nice colour

Top Gear will be departing from it’s misogynistic roots by featuring a bird every week who tells us whether she prefers a pink car or a white car, according to new presenter Chris Evans. “I’ll never get accused of sexism if there’s a bird on it.” He explained cheerfully. Sandy Toksvig who is the bookie’s […]

Hopkins to be pneumatically inflated and used as boat

Katie Hopkins is to be pneumatically inflated and used as a boat in order to transport people on essential sea voyages according to sources close to the right wing shock monger. One source told us  “She just wants to do the right thing. She may come across via the media as a rather unpleasant person, […]

Clarkson offered Top Gear Job in Argentina

Jeremy Clarkson is thought to be seriously considering a job in South America after a petition signed by almost 500,000 people, all Argentinians, has asked for him to go over and present his unique blend of jingoistic banter and motoring information over there. President of Argentina and self confessed Anglophile Cristina Fernández de Kirchner said […]