Trump to just build half a wall

Donald Trump will most likely build just half a wall on the US Mexico border instead of a whole one according to sources close to the President elect.

Juncker “Britain must drive on the right”

European Commission President, Jean Claude Junker, will insist on Britain following the rest of Europe in driving on the right hand side of the road as a condition for  any new deal brokered by David Cameron, according to EU sources. It is likely that the ruling will not become compulsory straight away, instead being enforced […]

Barack Obama “I’m watching you through a telescope”

President of the United States Barack Obama has revealed that he spends most of his time keeping tabs on US citizens and foreigners alike through a special super powered telescope that can see as far as the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, and also through walls.  Responding to accusations that US Government agents are […]

“Isle of Wight has weapons of mass destruction” warns Barack Obama

A US invasion of the Isle of Wight became ever more imminent today as President Barack Obama warned that there may or may not be some intelligence to suggest that the pariah Island may have weapons of mass destruction. Speaking at a press conference this morning Mr Obama stated “We have varying degrees of confidence […]