Brighton Council is to issue on the spot fines for residents who have wind chimes in their gardens, as part of a crack down on anti-social behaviour.
Bognor Regis to replace pebbles on beach with mini-chocolate eggs
March 24, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Bognor Regis is expecting a stampede of tourists this week-end following the council’s decision to replace the pebbles on its beach with mini-chocolate eggs.
Climate change “Stuff’n’nonsense” concludes world summit
December 12, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Climate change is simply stuff’n’nonsense peddled by hippies to mask the real issue that they need to get a job and a haircut, the world climate summit in Paris has concluded today. Representatives from over 200 countries, who had all flown to Paris by plane, are thought to have spent several minutes standing outside in […]
Green Party pledge more sunshine and flowers
March 9, 2015 by Leave a Comment
The Green Party have pledged at least 30% more sunshine and flowers should they be voted in to power in the General election in May. The pledges are part of their recently released manifesto which also promises 28% more skipping. 13% more fluffy bunnies, and 41% more sitting round a fire with an acoustic guitar […]
Green party kept off TV to save energy
October 14, 2014 by Leave a Comment
The Green Party are being denied a voice in forthcoming television debates preceding the general election in order to save energy according to the BBC, ITV, Sky and Channel 4. A spokesman for all four channels told us “If we put them on the television, loads of people will watch it which will use more […]
Slutty panda to blame for unwanted pregnancy
August 26, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Edinburgh Zoo has today become the focus for world wide condemnation on the news that yet another panda has exhibited loose morals and managed to get themselves up the duff. An editorial in the Daily Mail has explained “They dress provocatively and they only get themselves pregnant in order to get a larger enclosure in […]
Morrissey moonlighting as McDonalds clown
March 24, 2013 by
The long disputed mystery of the identity of the Ronald McDonald clown has been unexpectedly brought to a conclusion as former Smiths front man Morrissey has admitted that when not being miserable, judgmental and vegetarian, he actually likes to plaster himself in make up, laugh a lot, and scoff lots of beef burgers. “My favourite […]
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