Green Party pledge more sunshine and flowers

green party

The Green Party have pledged at least 30% more sunshine and flowers should they be voted in to power in the General election in May.

The pledges are part of their recently released manifesto which also promises 28% more skipping. 13% more fluffy bunnies, and 41% more sitting round a fire with an acoustic guitar and singing wish you were here by Pink Floyd again and again and again.

MP for Brighton Caroline Lucas said “We’re the only party that are going to make everything nice.”

The party has not been without its critics who have highlighted funding anomalies in making everything lovely. One of its harshest critics, the present Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne said “The sums just don’t add up. We inherited a huge deficit from the global banking crisis that we’ve blamed on the labour party. Of course the only way to get rid of this deficit is to follow the Conservative austerity plans of shit weather, badger gassing and people just generally not enjoying themselves.”

However, party leader Natalie Bennett has hit back saying “It’s all costed using a calculator and everything. We’re going to pay for it all by getting rid of some other things which aren’t lovely”

One inside source told us “We’re actually going to fund it through yoga.”

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