Green Party pledge more sunshine and flowers

The Green Party have pledged at least 30% more sunshine and flowers should they be voted in to power in the General election in May. The pledges are part of their recently released manifesto which also promises 28% more skipping. 13% more fluffy bunnies, and 41% more sitting round a fire with an acoustic guitar […]

Paul Flowers to present new series of Jim’ll fix it

Disgraced former Priest, Labour Councillor, charity boss and Chairman of the Cooperative bank Paul Flowers is set to present a new series of Jim’ll Fix It, according to BBC insiders. Mr Flowers who is due to be changing his first name to Jim specifically for the new position told of his excitement at bagging the […]

Paul Flowers “I’ll take less drugs and learn to do sums”

Former Cooperative bank chairman Paul Flowers has assured members of the public that should he end up in charge of a bank again he will take far less drugs and learn to do sums. “I think the best thing is to learn from your mistakes. I’ve lost my job as a priest, a local Government Labour […]