Scientists studying lions in Africa have stumbled upon a tribe of vegan lions that have shunned the normal carnivorous diet associated with their species and instead live solely on fruit and vegetables.
Revealed! Morrissey’s secret processed meat wonderland.
June 6, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Former Smiths front man Morrissey is said to be unavailable for comment following revelations that his LA mansion actually hides a private theme park dedicated to all forms of processed meat. Former Smiths bandmate Johnny Marr told us “Publicly he’s been a vegetarian for many years. Privately he loves a Big Mac or a chopped […]
Morrissey “If you must eat meat, eat me”
August 11, 2014 by 1 Comment
Former Smiths front man Morrissey has silenced critics today by offering himself up as cuisine for anyone that eats meat so as to hopefully offer a nutritious alternative to meat and thus save the life of a cow, lamb or otter. “It means I can encourage people to be herbivorous and musically whinge about being […]
Morrissey warns Pubs and restaurants against overcooking beef on fathers day
June 14, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Former Smiths front man Morrissey has sent out a heartfelt plea to Britains pubs and restaurants to not ruin what would otherwise be a nice family lunch out, by overcooking all meat at their special fathers day Sunday carveries to the extent that people might just as well have stayed at home and cooked the […]
Morrissey starts getting excited about Christmas
October 31, 2013 by Leave a Comment
It’s all soon going to be here again, sleigh bells, holly, and bizarre gift packs that nobody could ever want but will happily buy, wrap up and give to each other as presents. Once Guy Fawkes night is over it’s basically a straight run to Christmas and many people will be getting excited, none more so […]
Oil industry in squashed animals shocker
May 15, 2013 by
David Cameron has today joined other politicians in expressing condemnation at recent revelations that not only have the oil industry been fixing prices, but also allegedly making oil and petrol out of squashed animals. “Look, I don’t think anyone can honestly say they haven’t trodden on a dog or a rabbit at some point in […]
Morrissey moonlighting as McDonalds clown
March 24, 2013 by
The long disputed mystery of the identity of the Ronald McDonald clown has been unexpectedly brought to a conclusion as former Smiths front man Morrissey has admitted that when not being miserable, judgmental and vegetarian, he actually likes to plaster himself in make up, laugh a lot, and scoff lots of beef burgers. “My favourite […]
World wide protests at Justin Bieber’s shit birthday
March 4, 2013 by
The worlds population as a whole have been urged to ‘remain calm’ as shockwaves resulting from teen crooner Justin Bieber’s ‘worst birthday ever’ have caused worldwide protests. Up to a quarter of the worlds population put aside the fact that many are living in absolute poverty and suffering the end of a global recession, to […]
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