It’s all soon going to be here again, sleigh bells, holly, and bizarre gift packs that nobody could ever want but will happily buy, wrap up and give to each other as presents. Once Guy Fawkes night is over it’s basically a straight run to Christmas and many people will be getting excited, none more so than former Smiths front man, Morrissey.
An industry insider revealed to us “He tends to hang around in Boots and wait for them to start putting up the gift ideas section around September time. And the when they start piping out songs like Pipes of Peace by Paul McCartney he can normally be seen dancing up and down the aisles.”
Indeed, one nearby market trader who provides a gift wrapping service admitted that sometimes Morrissey would hang around his stall all day. “He’s mad for it. He gets so excited by every present even if it’s not for him. He’s so full of the Christmas spirit that you can’t tell him to piss off.”
Former Smiths band mate Johhny Marr has only now revealed that the reason the Smith’s split up was due to the singers obsession with the festive season. “We just weren’t writing any new stuff. Mainly because Morrissey would insist we all dressed up as Santa and spend valuable practise time pulling crackers. When he booked us to go on a year long Christmas tour with Slade and the Wombles enough was enough.”
Marr has admitted that whilst he would not want to reform the Smiths, he does miss spending Christmas day with his former front man “For him the best thing about the whole day would always be the dinner. He’d start with a seafood medley and then more than likely move onto turkey, rib of beef, pigs in blankets and probably some ham. And if I know him like I think I know him, he’ll be saving some for cold after he’s been grouse shooting on Boxing day.”
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